So I went to the dentist recently and I LOVE going to the dentist.   I affectionately call the dentist “the torture chamber” but I love going there because its only one of two ways where you can legally get high for a few bucks.    My dental hygienist knows the only way she’s getting in my mouth is if I’m pumped full of nitrous oxide and man that feels so good.

Whenever I’m under the laughing gas I FEEL SO GOOD.  I have the most amazing revelations when I’m in la-la land that I love going there.    When I was getting my regular cleaning I started laughing uncontrollably and the hygienist wanted to know what was going on.   I told her that the joke was on her because as soon as she was done, I was going out to get something to eat and “dirty” my teeth all over again!   She started laughing too and called it job security.

So I started thinking about the dental proposition.  I go there every six months to get my teeth cleaned.   The dental hygienist always insists that I floss and brush after every meal and I started thinking….why am I doing her job for her?   If I am able to clean my teeth that cleanly every day would I need a dentist?  Isn’t it self defeating for me to do all *her* work for her?

So then I started thinking, can I really beat the dentist?   Could I brush after EVERY meal and floss after EVERY meal and would that eliminate my dental visits?    Of course, the more I thought about it, the more I began to think that I would miss my N2O then what would I do to get a quick high?

In the end, I’ll stick to my regular routine and not go overboard.  I still brush twice daily and floss periodically but that’s as far as I’m willing to go, I love my dentist visits too much for anything more ….