Get Rich Slick

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Breast Cancer Awareness month, Walk for Diabetes, Hurricane Relief, United Way, American Red Cross, National Marrow, Blood Bank, Food Bank, Obama Taxation, McCain Housing Socialism, Girl Scout Cookies, Boy Scout Popcorn, M&M Candy School Fund Raiser, St. <insert saint name> Fund Raiser, Church Fund Raiser, International Church Fund Raiser are just a few of the organizations that have tried to bleed me this month!

Fortunately, I can’t give blood because I’ve traveled to just about every dangerous region of the world this year including Europe, Africa and Asia that I can’t donate blood.  I say “fortunately” because that’s the only one that I can give a “legitimate” excuse for not donating too.

I just can’t do it anymore, I’m sick of people asking for help and it’s only going to get worse as the economy worsens.  What the hell has happened over the last 30 years to make people so damn dependent on other people?

The only organizations I recall my parents being asked  to donate to was their local church and the United Way but now everybody has their hand out.   I’m not even counting the bums on every street corner asking for cash; I’m not even counting the door to door kids selling magazines to earn “scholarship” points;  I’m not counting the political hacks calling to ask for more money despite the fact that the election is next week.

What does the future hold?   Well I guess people won’t be asking, they’ll simply be taking…..

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I  read most of the new Senate bailout bill.  I stopped reading at page 297 because most of the bill is energy pork, tax cuts for certain constituents (e.g teachers, wool producers, Katrina, etc) and other useless garbage that STILL doesn’t address the underlying financial mess.

I was excited that FDIC insurance would be raised to $250,000 but was sorely disappointed to learn that it was temporary and would expire on Dec. 2009.   I guess next December there’ll be a giant sucking sound of money leaving out of banks to the tune of $150,000 per bank when that expires next year.

Aside from a few minor changes (i.e. mostly added pork), this is the same bill that failed before and I’m guessing congressional member think its going to pass because they’re a bit of pork in there for everyone in one way or another.  It’ll be interesting to see if congressional member sell their soul for a few trinkets.

You can get a copy here and read for yourself.

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Worried about the market? Don’t be, because I’m going to explain to you the new world order that’s coming. First, industry will be broken down into a few major “hubs” where all citizens will enjoy the lifestyle they enjoy now in a slightly different manner. A few centralized quasi-free market quasi government entities will be setup as follows.

American Telecommunications, Inc. will control all telecommunications. With their preconfigured hookups to the NSA and other government agencies, you’ll rest assured that big brother will be watching over you to ensure your most willing participation and acceptance of the new world order.

American Banks of Americans will control all banking, lending, credit, mortgages, investing and provide direct feeds to the IRS to monitor all your transactions to ensure you comply with each and every law and keep you from doing any “evil” things with your money because it’s not really your money it’s the government’s money.

American Consolidated Motors will sell all vehicles which will be sold on a consolidated basis to squeeze the most money out of your pocketbook by working with American Oil & Energy to optimize both industries.

American Oil & Energy will control all gasoline, natural gas and diesel distribution and sales along with providing you with the electricity that goes into your home. Convenient “monitoring” systems will be installed to ensure your “compliance” with the deemed appropriate usage and prevent any type of subterfuge.

American Pharmaceutics will control all medicine distribution to ensure your safety and compliance with all “American” based programs. All your medical information will be kept in a centralized database to ensure complaince with all government mandated medical programs.

American Phlights will control all air travel which will be subject to extreme security measures which will require a review of your American Telecommunication, American Pharmaceutics and American Bank of Americans accounts.

American Phoods will control all crops, beef, poultry, and other food stuffs for all Americans.

American Insurance will control and issue all insurance & claims.

You will no longer receive a paycheck and 401k, IRA and other similar accounts will no longer be necessary, those account will be transferred over to American Bank of Americans and distributed to other American entities to pay for all the goods and services you will receive.

All that is required from you the citizen is complacent obedience and everything will be taken care of for you.

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My new vehicle that I purchased about 6 months ago came with XM radio free for 6 months.  The service expired and I opted not to renew the service but a few days ago I received a flier advertising 5 months of XM service for $19.99.  I’m willing to pay $4/month for XM but not $15 so I figured I’d call the toll free number and sign up for the service.

I dial the number and the following happened:

XM: “Thank you for calling, please enter your receiver ID”
Me: I punch in with phone pad 7Mxxxxx
XM: “I’m sorry I didn’t get that, could you try again”
Me: (oh, I have to speak into this stupid thing), Seven, Mmmm
XM: “I’m sorry I didn’t get that, could you try again”
Me: Mmmmmmm
XM: “I’m sorry I didn’t get that, could you try again”

Me: Hang up phone, get flyer and throw in trash.

That’s about it.  I already wasted a few minutes with the stupid XM IVR and it was pointless to continue.  I don’t know why idiot management teams continue to buy these stupid IVR’s that DON’T work.   Sprint has a similar one and as soon as my contract ends with them I’m bailing out of their service SOLELY BECAUSE OF THEIR IVR customer interaction process.

Pushing 0 for an operator isn’t an option with these stupid IVRs.   Perhaps part of the reason Sprint and XM have such troubling sales is because of these stupid IVR’s but I’m sure some bean counter is telling the execs that “it saves so much money” to use these things.  Yeah, “it saves so much money” and it also “loses a lot of customers” too you idiot.

What really puzzles me is why there wasn’t a web page listed on the flier where I could have easily typed the information and been done with it in about 45 seconds.    XM is run by marketing monkeys.

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One of the most frustrating things with modern technology is why I can’t do simple things with it. Some how my cell phone is being inundated by calls from two phone numbers selling car warranties I don’t want. Every time I see the number on my cell, I know exactly who it is but all I can do is ignore the call and wait for the automated speaker to take up space on my voicemail.

I would love to be able to auto hang up and not have to bother listening to the voicemail. Better yet, I would love to simply forward the number back to the calling number so if you are calling me from 800-annoying then I’d have the phone forward the call right back to 800-annoying and let them get a taste of their own medicine. I looked long and hard and all I could find was something called BerryBlocker that is rather primitive. All this application does is forward the call to your voicemail.

I may end up building something along the lines of this neat hack that someone sent me a few days ago.

And yes, I’m well aware of the Do Not Call Registry but that seems to continue to be ignored more and more by telemarketers these days.

What I really want (if anyone is listening) is a service where I can forward ALL my phone calls then have them pre-screened and if it’s a legit phone number or one on my whitelist then let the call through, otherwise discard.

Call it, “My Personal Admin Assistant” and send me the monthly bill for $9.95/month and we’ll be set. Anyone running an India call center want to make some extra money, send me an e-mail to get this deal going. It’d be great if all calls would be recorded and I could listen to them online for review. Perhaps they could throw in a “comedy” plan where “My Personal Admin Assistant” would play pranks like this so I could get a good laugh at the end of the day.

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If you haven’t heard already, too many people are skipping the latte and now 12,000 jobs have vanished.   GM and Ford have had very poor new car sales this past quarter so guess what, more jobs lost.  GM & Ford may ultimately face bankruptcy and tens of thousands of jobs will be lost.

Yup, spending less than you earn is going to do wonders for your portfolios now isn’t it?   Soon enough, banks will start failing and your savings will go poof!   I know what you’re thinking, “My funds are FDIC insured” and I can only giggle as you’ll soon learn just how “insured” your funds really are…..smirk…….

When the subprime mess, high inflation and public malaise devastate us all you’ll be able to gloat about how it wasn’t your fault

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I’ve written about my new found disdain for Microsoft products and HP products seem to be headed in the same direction.  I was around the world in a distant and far away place a month ago needing to print an important document.  Lo and behold a fancy HP Color Laserjet printer stood right next to my desk.   The only problem of course is that I needed the print driver to print so I get on the ever slow web connection only to find out that I have to download a 40 mb file to be able to print.

I start the download and after a painstaking hour I have the driver package.  I begin to install the driver package and have to wait over 30 minutes, yes, 30 minutes to load a print driver on my computer!

I grew so frustrated that I switched to my mac and in less than 30 seconds the Mac found the printer, loaded a basic driver and I was printing.   What the hell HP?   Solutions are supposed to SAVE TIME & MONEY not waste it!

Do HP & Microsoft have some sort of kick back program with Seagate or Western Digital to bloat up their software so much that it takes 40mb to get a simple driver?   Is there collusion with ISPs to create these files so large, people simply demand more bandwidth?

I just don’t get it, HP is now a brand I despise and I won’t be buying any more of their software bloated devices just like I won’t be buying any more Microsoft bloatware.  Why can everything be like a mac?

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Yup, it’s official.  All airlines will officially start selling all flights to ANY location for $0.99.   There are a couple of catches so here’s how it will work:

All tickets will be priced at $0.99

Customers must pay the following mandatory fees:

-First Checked Baggage Fee $25

-Second Checked Baggage Fee $125

-Fuel Surcharge $175  + $0.25/mile

-Security Fee $100

-TSA Fee $25

-Booking Fee $25

-Speak with Airline Employee Fee $20

-Meal Fee (No meal will actually be served) $10

-Drink Fee (One soft drink per person) $5

-Cover Fee (Fee to Enter Airport) $10

-Secondary Fuel Surcharge Fee $50

-Tertiary Fuel Surcharge Fee $25

-Overweight Fee (If you weigh more than 50 lbs) $0.99/lb

But don’t worry, it’s a great deal at $0.99 to fly anywhere in the world!

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If 40 million people can’t afford health care then how will the government be able to afford it? This past weekend, the cable talking heads were discussing America’s health care crisis. I don’t disagree one bit with the issue: health care costs have spiraled out of control and there is another looming crisis coming soon.

So where exactly will the money come from to pay for this “free” health care for everyone? Higher taxes? More Fees? Every employer I have worked for in the past almost always had a tiered system: HMO, PPO, PPO Plus. The free market model at my past and current employers gave employees the option of paying for the package they felt best fit their needs.   The HMO typically cost 20% less but had various restrictions and deemed the “economical” package, the PPO plan cost more but with fewer restrictions and the PPO Plus had the best (and most expensive) coverage deemed a “premium” plan.

In the new “free” health care model, what options will I have?  Do I get to subsidize the “premium” package for every single American?  If not, then will the same people that can’t afford health insurance now complain that they’re not getting the “premium” insurance and are stuck with the “economical” package?

Will we have a system like public school vs private school where I pay tuition for my kids private school (because its better) yet have the privilege of paying for public school too even though I don’t use it?   Will health care become like the public school system where poor neighborhoods get poor health care and rich suburbs get the best health care?

Perhaps we should have health care based on property tax rates to make it equitable for everyone.

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I’m getting sick & tired of the political grandstanding around the FISA law.  If it’s so darn important to listen in on American’s phone calls the please just nationalize AT&T, Sprint, Verizon and any other telecomm company.

Airport security was deemed so important to national security that Bush federalized all the security positions so why not the telecomm companies?

While we’re at it, nationalize the mortgage industry and banking system because if it collapses that will be an issue for national security.

It sounds like our current politicians are taking a page out of the Hugo Chavez manifesto.

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